The Super-Duper Crossover of Mayhem 2: The Return of Invader Zim/Transcript
This is the transcript for The Super-Duper Crossover of Mayhem 2: The Return of Invader Zim. Transcript Scene 1 Dib: Something is just not matching up. These depict Zim's behavior last week. And these depict Zim's behavior now. There must have been something wrong. I still believe Zim's an alien. I want to prove it to the world! But how could I prove it to the rest of the world, hmm? (Dib takes his bike to Glowface's lair) Dib: If this stupid lair doesn't have all the answers I need, no place does. (Dib kicks down the door to Glowface's lair) Glowface: Dib? Dib: Glowface. I'm trying to uncover the mystery. The mystery of Zim. I think Zim is an alien in disguise. Glowface: An alien in disguise? Don't tell me he or she came from the Crab Nebula- Dib: He came from Irken, that's what I believe. Glowface: Oh. In that case, you're crazy. Crazier than my Universe-Blender! Dib: Oh, so you think I'm crazy, just because of one simple detail about Zim? Glowface: Of course. Dib: Somehow, the people on this planet are crazy enough as is. Gimme that Universe-Blender! Glowface: Never! Dib: Fine. Let's play ball. (cut to Dib and Glowface, taking the roles of a pitcher and batter, respectively) (Dib throws the first pitch) (Glowface misses the first pitch) Dib: Strike one! You're gonna have to do better than that, Glowface! (Dib throws the second pitch) (Glowface misses the second pitch) Dib: Strike two! Glowface: Wow. I didn't know I stink at baseball. Dib: Then prove it. (Dib throws the third pitch) (Glowface hits the third pitch) Dib: Going... going... right into the Universe-Blender? Glowface: We're doomed! Dib: At least it wasn't the part where it keeps DNA molecules the same. Because I don't wanna be a Popple today. Glowface: Umm... about that... that object is three feet above where the baseball went through the Universe-Blender, so it doesn't matter either way. We're still gonna remain the same. Dib: Oh. In that case... (every universe Glowface knows of merges) Dib: I don't feel any different. Glowface: Guess what? Dib: What? Glowface: The baseball went through the teleporter device installed in there! Dib: Oops. My bad. Glowface: Well, at least it can't get any worse. Dib: I'll try to prove to the world that Zim is an alien! Glowface: Uhh... merged universes? You'd have a lot of time on your hands! Dib: And a lot of ground to cover! Where's the first universe I need to go to? Glowface: Well, Bayview's over there... Lake Hoohaw over there... Dib: I'm starting with my own universe. Glowface: Knock yourself out, then. Dib: What do you plan to do in the meantime? Glowface: I'll try to build a machine to destroy The X's! Dib: OK, then. It's your goals, right? Glowface: To destroy The X's? Dib: To hunt down that alien? Glowface: Help me destroy The X's, and I'll reveal Zim's secret to everyone. Dib: Normally, I don't make deals with villains... Glowface: Well, then- Dib: ...but I guess it won't matter now. Glowface: You're gonna be famous for destroying The X's! Dib: Zim's gonna be blown to bits by the military! Scene 2 Zim: So, Dib and Glowface have made a deal. Guess I'm gonna have to protect The X's at all costs. Papyrus: Not so fast, you lazybones! Zim: Sans? Papyrus? Sans: Oh look, it's that green boy! (rimshot) Papyrus: Shut up, Sans! Zim: What are you doing in my house? Sans: We're bored. (Zim pushes Sans and Papyrus out) Zim: There's a Chuck E. Cheese's over there. Go play there. (Zim closes his door) Sans: We have no choice... (rimshot) Papyrus: Sans! (cut to Zim's house) Zim: OK, so we need six buckets of liquid titanium and- (GIR arrives) Zim: GIR! Just in time. GIR: What do you plan to do today? Zim: I dunno. I need some pictures of The X's. I want to protect them from Dib. Trying to reveal my secret to the world, eh, Dib? GIR: Okey-dokey. Zim: I need 200 pieces of paper. GIR: OK. (GIR gives Zim 190 pieces of paper) Zim: Close enough. GIR: It's all I had! (cut back to Dib and Glowface) Dib: I recently heard that Zim is trying to protect The X's. Glowface: I wanted The X's to be destroyed, not protected! Dib: Yeah, about that... (cut to the X-Jet taking off) Glowface: Where are we? Dib: Long-term memory? Glowface: No, over there. Dib: The planet of Tatooine, huh? I've seen Star Wars too many times. Glowface: No, next to Tatooine. Dib: The planet of the Ewoks, eh? Glowface, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Glowface: We capture Wicket, and use his power to destroy The X's? Dib: That is a great idea! Glowface: Why didn't I think of that? (cut to Dib and Glowface walking) Glowface: So... how do we get to the planet of the Ewoks from here? Dib: Simple. There's a trampoline over at Goofball Island. Glowface: Wait, you know what Goofball Island is? Dib: I'm interested in the paranormal and supernatural, so I watched Inside Out too. Glowface: What's happening? (Dib gasps and runs to Goofball Island, which is falling apart) Dib: NOOOOOOOOO! Glowface: Wait, this isn't so bad! We just take Friendship Island. Dib: Torn down to make room for new structures. Glowface: Hockey Island? Dib: Riley gave up hockey. Glowface: Honesty Island? Dib: Riley lied and covered it up. Glowface: Family Island? Dib: That's it! That's the only island we've got left. It has to have a trampoline. Glowface: What's going on at Imagination Land? Dib: It seems like people are tearing it down. Glowface: Those are not people. (Dib and Glowface get an explanation) Dib: Mind workers! (Dib and Glowface rush to the mind workers) Dib: What's going on with Imagination Land? Mind worker #1: Well, isn't somebody obsessed with the paranormal and supernatural? It's going to the dump. Nothing comes back from the dump. Dib: Not even... this ray gun? Mind worker #1: Nope. Mind worker #2: All that has ever come back from the dump was Joy herself. Dib: Well, what a world. Mind worker #1: You know, there are no more trampolines here. Dib: Let's go, Glowface. I thought up another universe we can use to get up there. Scene 3 Dib: Well, at least it won't get any worse. Peanut Otter: Can it? Dib: Uhh, hi there. Glowface: We were just, hehe, looking for Zim. Dib: Please don't help us find anything, we're good. (cut to Zim about to take pictures of The X's) Zim: Now, to take pictures of The X's. GIR: And then what? Zim: Protect my identity, that's what! (a paper airplane flies past Zim) Zim: Hey! (Zim unfolds the paper airplane and finds out it was from Gorge) Zim: Hey, you! Could you please not throw paper airplanes? Gorge: OK. Come on, Whale Five. Let's go home to see Robo. Zim: Well, that's over. (Robo arrives) Robo: Somebody order a picture of The X's? Zim: No, but I'll take one for free. Robo: OK, then. (Robo heads back to his house) (cut back to Dib and Glowface) Dib: Well, this couldn't get any worse. Glowface: I see a forest... and... animal hybrids? Dib: Hang on, did you say "animal hybrids"? Glowface: Yes, animal hybrids. Dib: And did you say "forest"? Glowface: Yes! Dib: Well, time to ask the Wuzzles where we can find a trampoline... Glowface: ...and then go to the planet of the Ewoks... Dib: ...and then use my Spelldrive to turn Wicket into a monster... Glowface: ...to destroy The X's... Dib: ...so everyone will believe Zim is an alien! Glowface: Let's do this! Scene 4 (cut back to Zim) Zim: Gotta find The X's... (cut back to Dib and Glowface) Dib: Yes, hello, we'd- I'd like to- why aren't they talking to me? Glowface: Oh no! Dib: What? Glowface: There's no cartoon logic here at all! Dib: So what? Glowface: Good thing we didn't become Popples, otherwise everyone here would be feral! Dib: Good thing I can just locate the "cartoon logic" button. Glowface: Well, where is he? Dib: He's in Dimmsdale! (cut to Timmy Turner's house) Timmy: I'm getting a high score on this new videogame! (Dib and Glowface tear down the door) Timmy: Hey! What gives? Dib: We're looking for Zim. Glowface: And once we expose him, we'll destroy The X's! Dib: I thought we were destroying The X's first! Glowface: I get confused. Timmy: He's not here. Dib: Mind that we searched an entire jungle filled with animal hybrids just to get here! Timmy: Oh, you mean the forest that has the Wuzzles? Dib: How'd you know? Timmy: Uhh... internet? Dib: OK... Glowface: Well, we need a cartoon logic button thingy. Timmy: I don't have any of those. Dib: Well, then... where are they? Timmy: There's one in Bayview, but even then that world has little cartoon logic at all. Dib: Well, thanks for the tip. Timmy: Oh, but watch out for Crocker. He gives- Crocker: -an F! (Timmy gets another F and Crocker leaves) Timmy: ...he gives failing grades. And he's obsessed with fairies! Dib: So where is Bayview? Timmy: Well, where do you think Bayview is? Dib: Over there? Timmy: Correct! (an hour of walking later) Glowface: Dib, are we getting any closer to destroying the X's and revealing that Zim's an alien? Dib: Not yet. We still need to find that button to make the Wuzzles speak English, then we ask them for a trampoline so we can go to that planet to turn Wicket into a monster to destroy the X's. We talked about this. Glowface: Oh, right. Dib: Hold on! (Dib sees that Zim is trying to protect the X's) Dib: Zim. Glowface: Well, how do we get to Bayview from here? It's hours and hours away! Dib: Good thing I have Mammoth Mutt on speed dial. Glowface: Are you crazy? She'll beat me up just because I'm a supervillain. Dib: Haven't you heard of something called "flanderization"? Glowface: Uhh... no. Dib: Well, me neither. But my bag is bigger on the inside, 5 feet in length. Glowface: Thanks, Dib, for reminding me. (Glowface jumps into the bag) Dib: Oh, and it's comfortable in there. (Dib calls up Mammoth Mutt) (an hour later) Dib: Finally, she arrives. So, do me a favor. See that city over there? I think that you, like Jake, can stretch over fifty times your normal sizes. Mammoth Mutt: Are you kidding? That's too big a job! Dib: Fine, be that way. But how would I get to Bayview? Mammoth Mutt: Oh, this is gonna be painful. Dib: Yes, yes it is. (thirty seconds later, Dib is somehow at Bayview) Dib: Thank you! (Dib opens up his bag and takes Glowface out of the bag) Glowface: So? Did that mutt take us to Bayview? Dib: Yes. Glowface: Well, I'm gonna have nightmares for life. Dib: Well, if Zim's identity is to be revealed, then we find that button. (Dib immediately finds the button but finds that it's broken) Dib: Dammit, now it's broken! Glowface: I know a friend who is handy at fixing stuff up. Dib: Who? Glowface: He has two tails. Dib: Oh. Scene 5 Miles "Tails" Prower: This button can be fixed, but it needs the power of a Chaos Emerald. Glowface: Or a "Perfect Condition" ray, which Dib just has to have! Dib: It's not a ray, it's a spell on a Spelldrive. Miles "Tails" Prower: Well, whirl it up! Dib: OK, so "Perfect Condition" uses 1 power point. (Dib casts the spell on the button and fixes it up) Miles "Tails" Prower: Sweet! That means that I don't have to fix it up! Dib: But be warned that Spelldrives only have a limited number of power points on them. Once they're all gone, the Spelldrive is basically useless! Miles "Tails" Prower: Oh. I understand. Come back if you run out of points and want to fix it up! Dib: Oh, we only want to use it once. Miles "Tails" Prower: Still, I understand. (cut to Zim checking Timmy's house) Timmy: So, why are you here? Zim: I'm gonna protect the X's. If they get destroyed, my plan to conquer this filthy planet will be soiled! Timmy: How is that a bad thing? Zim: Dib wants to reveal my identity worldwide! Timmy: OK, gonna back away now... Zim: Well, I suggest we join an alliance! How do you feel about that, Turner? Timmy: An alliance? Dib and Glowface were just here. Last I heard, they were coming from Tails' workshop. Zim: Oh, they're good. (cut back to Dib and Glowface) Dib: Welp, here goes nothing. (Dib fills the forest with cartoon logic). Dib: I am so gonna win "Paranormal Investigator of the Year"! So, does anyone know where we can find a trampoline? Bumblelion: A trampoline? I saw one over there, but I can fly, so what's the point of a trampoline? Glowface: Thanks. (Dib and Glowface stand on the trampoline and start bouncing on it) Dib: Not enough force. The force of gravity is too strong. (cut to Dib and Glowface on a plank, about to jump onto the trampoline) Dib: Got the monster-making cookies? Glowface: They're in my bag. Dib: Seal the bag up and hang tight to it. (Glowface seals the bag up) (Dib and Glowface jump onto the trampoline and go up to the planet of the Ewoks) Dib: Now all we need is to find Wicket. Glowface: Found him. Dib: Oh, don't turn him into a monster on this planet. For all we know, every other Ewok would- and possibly even Darth Vader- would hunt us down! (back in Bayview) (Dib is about to feed a cookie to Wicket) Dib: Here goes nothing. (Wicket eats the cookie) Dib: Nothing's working. Glowface: These only have 10% of the stuff needed to turn living objects into monsters. Dib: For each cookie? (Dib gives the rest of the cookies to Wicket) Dib: Now watch the magic happen! Glowface: What magic? Dib: Well, I knew this plan would- hey! He's turning into one already! Glowface: Oh, good! You know the drill, destroy the X's! (Wicket goes off in search of the X's) (cut to Zim at Lake Hoohaw) Zim: So, you don't want to form an alliance with me? Jelly: I don't know what an alliance even means. Zim: I knew you wouldn't. Scene 6 (Wicket goes to the X's HQ) Mr. X: OK, listen up! There's an evil thing outside and I don't know what it is! Truman X: Alright! Let's beat it up! Tuesday X: Let's take it down to the scrap heap! Mrs. X: I don't think there even is a scrap heap in this house. Mr. X: Nevermind, let's just find out what it is and beat it up! (Wicket destroys the X's HQ) Tuesday X: Uhh... I think that thing wants to destroy us! Mr. X: Bring out the heavy artillery! We're gonna destroy this beast! (cut back to Dib and Glowface) Dib: This is bad. They already brought out the heavy artillery against Wicket! Glowface: Well, isn't this surprising. Actually, I know it isn't. Dib: Why do you say that? Glowface: The X's fight against me all the time! What do you think? Dib: Hmm... good point. Glowface: Well, let's just look at these books while the X's battle against Wicket. And afterwards, we reveal Zim's identity as an alien! Dib: Finally, the world will finally know that I'm not crazy! Glowface: Yes it will. Dib: Wait, the X's base is destroyed. Is that enough for the reveal? Glowface: No. Wicket has to physically kill the X's! The destruction of the base is just a warm-up! Dib: Well, I'm running out of power points quick, so wanna go up to the base to watch? Glowface: Maybe one mile away? Dib: Done. (Dib hits the button labelled "Cast Spell") (Dib and Glowface end up a mile away from the X's destroyed HQ) Glowface: This will be interesting. Dib: Yes, it will. (Wicket easily defeats the X's) Dib: Welp, the X's are defeated! Now what? Glowface: Now it's time to reveal Zim is an alien! Dib: The world thought I was crazy, and now here we are, on the verge of victory! (Abby and Ty Archer arrive) Glowface: Grossologists! Wait, I thought that you weren't gonna come here. Abby: Well, apparently, Lance put a boil on Jellina. Ty: And now, it's over. Dib: What's over? Abby: The X's destruction, that's what's over! Dib: So? Abby: Feeding those cookies to Wicket is the grossest crime ever committed! Glowface, the Bureau of Grossology is taking over your lair! Glowface: That's not so much of a punishment, as it's usual for me to switch lairs! Ty: That's not all! Dib, better expect the rest of the world to think that you're crazy, because the X's are going to the hospital. Abby: Now, ordinarily, we wouldn't solve crimes that aren't gross or disgusting. But apparently, we had to fill in for Judy Hopps because she's in the Zootopia hospital with a broken leg. Glowface: So, all our crimes are more disgusting than even Lance Boil's? Abby: Well, figuratively. Ty: Let's go, Abby. (Abby and Ty go off to stop another gross crime) Dib: I can't believe it. I was so close! So close to releasing the truth! And then they showed up and stopped us! Glowface: So, that means I'm fired, right? Dib: I never hired you in the first place! I specifically made a deal with you, so now the deal is off! Glowface: So that means... Dib: What, are you expecting me to become your enemy? Nah, I've got an alien to deal with. Call me once the X's are destroyed for real, so we can reach out another deal. Glowface: Well, I guess we could make another deal in the future. Dib: But not anytime in the near future. Glowface: Well, maybe not, but soon. Dib: In the meantime, I'll keep trying to expose the fact that Zim is an alien. Glowface: Well, that means I need to go, right? Dib: No. That means we're doing one last task. Changing the universes back to normal. Glowface: Oh, that's what we forgot! (cut back to the Universe-Blender) Dib: Well, it's been nice having a deal with you. Glowface: It's been nice having a monster to try and destroy the X's. (every single universe goes back to normal) Dib: Well, I'm going back to my own universe, now. See you when you've destroyed the X's. Glowface: OK, will do. Dib: Oh, and please disassemble the Universe-Blender. We don't want any more messes again. Glowface: I have 30 days to leave before the Grossologists physically kick me out. Of course I'll have enough time to disassemble it. Dib: Well, I'll be going now. (Dib leaves Glowface's lair) (Lance Boil arrives) Lance Boil: Did you have fun getting chewed out by the Grossologists? I never do. Glowface: They yelled at me and Dib. A lot. Scene 7: Ending Dib: (narrating) Ever since I cut off that deal, Glowface became the laughing stock of all villains everywhere. Even Lance Boil looked back at him and had a laugh once in a while. As for me, I'm still trying to prove to the world that Zim's an alien. I may be the only one who knows his secret, but at least I'm getting closer to my goals. (cut to Dib and Zim at their school's cafeteria) Zim: Heard the X's are in the hospital. Looks like I didn't accomplish my goals. Dib: I didn't accomplish mine at all. Were you the one who sent the Grossologists after us? Zim: I called up Judy, but she wound up with a broken leg. Dib: I'm eventually gonna reveal to the world that you're an alien. Zim: You really can't send the military after me, can you? Dib: Well, not today. But someday soon, I will. (end)